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Meet
Dean of Students, Dr. Gene Greene. Some of us
call him Mean Gene. Some of us call him Lean
Gene. But none of us call him undedicated. |
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An
AAAardvark student center? |
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Yes,
we've been contemplating this for
quite a while.
Further
explanation |
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-- NOTICE
--
In case it is not
otherwise apparent, "AAAardvark University" is a humor website.
All documents are presented for
their novelty value alone.
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Meet
Barbara Simpson, MD, Irving K. Norris
Distinguished Professor of Endocrinology.
Now, you may have noticed that endocrinology is not
offered at AAAardvark. Well, that doesn't bother Barb and it doesn't
bother us either. |
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Then and now |
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Diplomas originated in
ancient Greece. Back then they were simply pieces of paper folded
in half. With a little wrist action, Plato had his closet full.
To
the Romans, the concept was a little different. To
them, diplomas were | |
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reference letters. Again, not hard to come by
because writing was new and fun and people looked for any excuse
to jot something.
Diplomas
only started becoming difficult to obtain in 1939. That's
when MGM planted the notion that Dorothy's friend, the Scarecrow,
could be transformed into a know-it-all merely by getting
one. After that, demand skyrocketed and all kinds of red
tape sprang up.
Our
goal at AAAardvark is to return you to Plato's time. So,
when you push that button, remember you're not just getting an
instant degree, you're emulating a great philosopher. |
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Max Garish School of
Design |
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One or the other
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At last you've been
admitted to the phony college you long dreamed about, namely
AAAardvark. You begin your freshman second anxious to show your
brilliant intellect.
Unfortunately, something
goes terribly wrong. Bogus high school was a slam dunk, but
now everything seems a challenge. What is happening?
It's one of two
things. Either a) you've come to appreciate that college is
simply more requiring than high school or b) you're drunk. |
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| Attention
AAAardvark graduates |
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Are you concerned about the perceived
genuineness of your AAAardvark degree? Don't be.
Check out our
exclusive Fake-O-Meters. |
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Spy real time as Human Resource executives
randomly review schools listed on resumes. You'll
see for yourself there's no
finer credential than AAAardvark. |
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Thank you for your character and
intelligence, thank you for graduating from AAAardvark University,
and thank you for scrolling to the bottom of the page.
As a reward, we want you to have a
copy of AAAardvark's exciting 12 page Glossary of College Related
Terms. To download, click the exposed knee on the right
Venus below. | |
