Who we are and what we do
American Institute of Achievement is the world's largest and most respected achievement clearinghouse.  Founded in 1781, the Institute serves as an independent third party to recognize, certify, register, catalog and verify accomplishments of all stripe and manner.  Big or small, real or fake-- if it's remotely related to an achievement we'll honor it.

Examples of what we'll recognize

  • The late Neil Armstrong for being the first man on the moon
  • Neil Armstrong's longtime barber for not wounding a customer in six months
  • Neil Armstrong's longtime barber for being the first man on the moon
  • The late Neil Armstrong for being the first man on Mars
  • Neil Armstrong's longtime barber for flying past Mars to give God a haircut on Jupiter
Using our services
Our services are available to anyone eager to have achievement honored.

Service Package 1: Registered Achievement

For the all-inclusive fee of $19,995 we will:
  • Thoroughly investigate your achievement
  • Hold a meeting to discuss your achievement
  • Ultimately recognize your achievement
  • Certify, register and catalog your achievement
  • Favorably mention you in front of a crowd
  • Award you an official AIA Certificate of Achievement (view)
  • Enter you in the AIA Hall of Fame
  • Provide on-going verification of your entry in the Hall of Fame
  • Come to your house and give your entire family a shoeshine
Email us for complete details, we'll get back to you rather quickly.

Service Package 2: Free Certificate of Achievement
If you're like us and enjoy recognizing achievement, you'll want to create some AIA certificates yourself.
To this end, we encourage you to take advantage of our easy instant generator.  Use it to honor accomplishments of all stripe and manner wherever you find them.
  • Just type details, click button and print
  • Creates certificates virtually identical to $19,000 version, except no way in Hell we'll verify them
  • Great for gags, kissing up and really cheap gifts
Honoree's name
Achievement
Where it happened
(or enter N/A)
When it happened
Date awarded
  

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In case it is not otherwise apparent, "The American Institute of Achievement" is a humor website.  All documents and are offered for their novelty value alone.