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Our
Roster of Graduate Schools |
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Lance
Chase School of Law |
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Daley-Diddler
School of Engineering |
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Robin
Folkes School of Business Administration |
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E.
K. Geebers School of Medicine |
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Goode-Booker
Divinity College |
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Harry
Hand School of Dentistry |
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Ida
Klown School of Communication |
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Knapp-Wright
School of Public Administration |
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Long-Blather
School of Arts and Letters |
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Sheesha
Mister School of Physical Education |
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Penn-Zelnik
School of Science |
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Crayola
Smith School of Education |
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Z.
Stanford Zorro College of Surgery |
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We
stick by you all the way! |
Did you know listing
one of our
degrees on your resume entitles you to special
FREE panic
abatement the
night before a job interview? Yes that's right, just come back the night before
your interview and click the Magic
Mill |
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Magic Mill Major of
the Month |
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Set printer to
PORTRAIT for diploma with ribbon and/or IAFU
certification. Otherwise set printer to LANDSCAPE. |
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To print
sheepskin set print range as PAGES 1 TO 1. Print as PORTRAIT.
Set all page margins to 0.5". |
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When printing
diploma or sheepskin check that HEADER and FOOTER boxes are
empty in browser page setup. |
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From
the lab: alternative diplomas |
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We
like to keep visitors ahead of the curve so we teamed with the
scientists at Rocket College to explore 21st century
alterna- tives to tradi- tional diplomas. After
many months of development we're now ready to beta test
the first product. It's a nifty combination
diploma/rocket called the Flying Fake
University Certificate. To beta
test click
here. |
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Add
pomp to your circumstance |
| You've worked
hard for that special piece of paper from AAAardvark or one of
our other fine institutions. We wish we could honor your
"graduation" by dressing you in cap and gown and giving you a big hug
like Aunt Bertie would. While we can't do that, we
can do the
next best thing. Namely, serenade your success via Magic Mill Radio.
Listen and bask in the glory of "All school related
tunes. All the time." |
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Brainy math question: how
many Magic Mill diploma variations are there from any one university? Answer:
2,508,800
(13 graduate schools + no
graduate school) x 20 degrees x (55 majors + no major) x (3 honors + no honors) x
(ribbon + no ribbon) x 5 motto options x (certification + no certification) x
(campus depiction + seal) = 14 x
20 x 56 x 4 x 2 x 5 x 2 x 2 = 2,508,800. Let's face it, that's almost as many diplomas as your brother-in-law
has.
Secrets of the process
revealed: the sheep dip
| The most frequent
question we get at Magic Mill isn't "do you guarantee results?"
or "how long will people stay fooled?" The most frequent
question is "why do the diplomas go into the pond?"
Well, first of all, now that we're an e-business we no longer actually
manufacture diplomas.* Instead we deliver them electronically over
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| internet. Second, it wasn't a pond, it was a pool-- a pool of
exotic chemicals held in delicate balance. Now as far as
"why," the pool was where we worked our magic. It was
there that we transformed cheap, ordinary paper into sheepskin.
The process, which lasts about two hours, is known in the trade as a
"sheep dip". It's still used today by the few remaining
brick and mortar degree mills. |
We invite you to see for yourself
what a difference a dip makes. Check out our demo, then feel
free to create your own electronically simulated sheepskin using the
FREE and EASY Magic Mill E-Dip.
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| Add the
beauty and prestige of sheepskin to your diploma: FREE
and EASY
E-Dip
Follow these easy steps to
create your Magic Mill E-Dipped Diploma: 1) choose tannage and
generate electronically simulated sheepskin, 2) print sheepskin, 3)
create diploma, 4) print diploma on simulated sheepskin instead
of blank paper.
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It's official:
independent survey of HR executives rates Magic Mill "Most
likely to deceive"!
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We're understandably proud, but don't want
to spend a lot of time crowing or boring you with the details.
Suffice it to say 2009 marks the 132nd anniversary of this annual
research, and we've held the top spot every year except 1887 and
1919. '87 was due to bad problems with the ink man. In '19
we were caught off |
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guard by a shady upstart who bombarded personnel
offices with mechanical pencils, trashy novellas and other bribes.
Tisk, tisk. |
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Hypothetically
speaking: from 10th grade to DDS?
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Matthew has looks and talent and thought
he'd make it as a recording artist, plus he hated his Geometry
teacher. So he didn't finish high school. Now he's 26, and
after several years of indecision he's "into dentistry". Should Magic Mill award Matthew a
Doctor of Dental Surgery?
He really, really wants one. |
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